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'Who helps first' game

  • jogongender
  • Jul 29, 2017
  • 2 min read

The rules are simple. After a group meal stay seated and see which gender gets up first to help clear up, and which gender helps the most. Then ask why and discuss the gender norms you were all taught and what you all think about it.

Breaking it down it's a lot more nuanced then you might expect.

I have done this numerous times and without fail it is always women getting up first to help (straight or gay). In your game I would expect out there at least one man helping, but the point is that women dominate. This game is not intended to shame or chastise men. It is designed to show that gender roles are played out without us even realising.

I have determinedly stayed put until I am the only woman at the table/couch, feeling increasingly uncomfortable that I am not helping, yet the men are happily chatting away. I'd like to stay chilling too, but there is something that makes me fell obliged to help. That something is having been trained in my social obligation as a woman.

I wasn't brought up under gender roles but I do feel uncomfortable when I don't perform them. Perhaps it's the social pressure of the rest of my gender doing something and I am the odd one out. If you are a woman who helps straight away try this game and see what feelings come up when you don't help at all.

Another way to play the game is for all the women to decide not to be the ones clearing up and see how long does it take a man or men to. I've noticed women often feel the have to clean straight away, when men will continue to enjoy themselves until a little while later. We know this also occurs with general household tasks, which is why so many women say they will just do the chores themselves, it's easier. Something has been ingrained not to settle until all the chores are done, but where's the harm if you wait an hour?

Finally, discuss what happened in your game and why you think it went that way. If you did act out gender roles have you noticed it before and will any behaviours change? If you are a set of men and women who didn't act our your gender roles, why do you think you have defied expectation?

Have fun.

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About

The definition of Gender- Considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones.

 

Gender inequality is prevalent, and male and female gender expectations are unnecessary. Defining oneself through social norms based on the sex you were born, grew up as or feel you are, is outdated. Masculine and feminine qualities are important, but they are important to develop within all of us. Instead of creating more gender identities, what would the world be like without them? That your biological sex is only important for healthcare reasons. Who would our role models be? Selfies and abs, or substance?

 

I always become a Gogglebox cast member when I see gender stereotyping, especially when everyone thinks it is progressive. 

 

It seems my passion to act on this has come at the right time because the notion of gender is being challenged across many spheres. It is what is not being said and how people react to the news and popular culture that gets me writing.  

 

Therefore I have created this blog where I can write about the gender inequality I see and  Hoe we are all being held back by gender, How we can positively move forward and explore the world without labels.

 

Your input is important, so please do comment on articles, and follow the Facebook page and Twitter where I will post and comment on bits that I find around the web. if you find something or have ideas, please do post too.

 

I am a freelance writer so do please contact me if you need a piece, I am very good with deadlines!

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Jo .G. 

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